Friday, September 30, 2011

Chapter 55: Froglett

It was a sunset on the horizon, and a helicopter was plowing through the skies of Kanto. Inside was John, Psycho, and Yahoe. They had just left Pewter City after destroying Brock’s Gym, leaving it to eventually be remodeled by his mother. After their needless act of destruction, they got back into their Helicopter and decided to fly towards Saffron City and discover any secrets there. Suddenly, the helicopter started to rumble.
“Yahoe?” said Yahoe.
“Oh shit! We’re out of gas!” said John. “We will have to evacuate!”
“Oh, how would we survive that?” asked Psycho.
“Go Charmeleon!” John said, throwing a Poke Ball.
“Charmeleon!” said Charmeleon.
“Charmeleon, transform into a Jetpack!” ordered John.
“Meleon!” said Charmeleon, who transformed into a jetpack.
“Wow!” said Psycho.
“Alright, grab on!” said John, and Psycho and Yahoe grabbed onto him. John successfully dodged the helicopter blades, and evacuated the crashing helicopter, which exploded.
“Aw shit!” said Psycho. “Lemme go!” he said, as he let go of John and transformed wings onto his body, and fluttered down to the ground. Eventually, John and Yahoe landed.
“Alright guys, time for a briefing.” John said. “Lets go Pokemon!” he said, releasing Mankey, Geodude, Slowpoke, and Charmeleon.
“Mankey is the de-facto leader. He calls Helicopters and can Punch the Ground.” John said pointing to Mankey. “Mankey, Punch the Ground!” John commanded.
“Mankey!” said Mankey, and it punched the ground into a deep hole.
“Geodude is the item creator, but so far, it can only create Full Scuba Sets.” he said, pointing to Geodude wearing a Scuba Set.
“Slowpoke, I caught spur of the moment, but I know what I’ll do. I’ll teach you “Disintegration Beam”.” John said, writing “Disintegration Beam” on a Random TM. “Hey, that’ll be fun!” and he scribbled something on another Random TM and he broke both onto Slowpoke.
“Slowpoke...” said Slowpoke.
“Now, Slowpoke, use Disintegration Beam on that boulder!” John commanded.
“Slowwww... poke.” said Slowpoke, and it shot a laser beam from its eyes and disintegrated a giant boulder.
“Charmeleon too was a last minute addition before I got to the Mountains of Mystery. It surprisingly evolved quick to!” John said, pointing to Charmeleon.
“Meleon.” said Charmeleon.
“He doesn’t really have a special role yet though.” John said.
“Meleon!” said Charmeleon, grabbing a Random TM and writing on it, and breaking it on him.
“Charmeleon! Don’t steal my Random TMs, I have a limited number!” John screamed.
“Meleon!” said Charmeleon, as it shook its arms and caused coins to come out of its mouth.
“Wow! Dollar coins!” said Psycho.
“Alright, good work Charmeleon! Well, that’s my Pokemon.” said John, feeling the need to show Psycho & Yahoe his Pokemon and their roles.

John, Psycho & Yahoe were exploring South on Route 5 going to Saffron City. Something about the scenery wasn’t as vibrant as it would’ve been. It was as if something was changing. Suddenly, the trio was distracted by the splashing in a small pond. In a small pond to the side, was what appeared to be a simple frog splashing around on a lily pad. “What is that?” asked John.
“Frogleh, Frogleh!” said the Frog.
“Is it a Pokemon?” asked John.
“I’ll check!” said Psycho, who transformed his hand into a Pokedex.

Froglett
Type: Water
Moves: Tongue Lash, Hop


“Check’s out, it’s a Pokemon!” said Psycho.
“Awesome!” said John, taking out an empty Poke Ball. “Poke Ball, Go!” he said throwing it.
“Frog!” said Froglett, as it was transformed into red energy and was promptly captured.
“Alright! I got Froglett!” said John. “Come out!” he said, releasing his newly captured Froglett.
“Frogleh! Frogleh!” said Froglett.
“What will I do with you?” asked John.
“Frog! Ompf!” said Froglett, who puffed out its cheeks and started to glow, becoming smaller, loosing its legs and getting a tail. “Tadpolett!” said the new Pokemon.
“What? What happened?” said John.
“Let me check...” said Psycho.

Tadpolett
Type: Water
Moves: Splash, Tail Fan


A Froglett will become a Tadpolett again if taken away from water. Once it re-evolves, it could then evolve into it’s final form, Dragofflett (W/F).

“Woah!” said Psycho.
“I guess I gotta train Tadpolett up until it evolves again. Hopefully it’s got battle potential.” said John.
“Tadpolett!” said Tadpolett.
“Return!” John said, recalling Tadpollet into it’s Poke Ball.
“Well, that makes a total of Six Pokemon, including you Psycho.” John said to the Human-Type Pokemon who was in his possession.
“So what are we going to do now?” asked Psycho.
“I don’t know, for now, lets travel south of here to Saffron City...” said John.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Chapter 54: Leader of the Dead

When Pokemon go Bad #2: Leader of the Dead.



Marble was exploring the Rock Tunnel north of Lavender Town, hoping to find a lead to Dragonair’s family there. “Dum, da dum...” said Marble, as he frolicked through the cave.
“Ahh.” said a wicked looking hoodlum in the distance, staring at Marble through his sunglasses.

(!)

???: Hey kid, you’re in luck!

Marble: Huh? What do you mean?

???: If you can defeat me, I will give you the Land of the Dead badge, it will automatically fulfill your greatest dream.

Marble: Alright, you’re on!


BATTLE TIME!

Marble Vs. Chris!

Marble grabbed one of the 5 Poke Ball’s on his belt. “Go Gyarados!” he said, tossing it onto the battle.
“Gyarados!” said Gyarados, angrily wailing and leering angrily.
“Haha.” said Chris. “I’ll show you who’s gonna be in charge!” he said, smiling conceitedly. “Go Gyarados!” Chris said, throwing his own Poke Ball, unleashing his Gyarados.
“Oh wow!” said Marble, astonished at what he was seeing. Chris’s Gyarados looked like it had been enhanced by steroids. Its eyes looked scary and it wore a T-Shirt that said
“I L♥ve Toxic Waste.” “Alright Gyarados.” Marble commanded. “Use Dragon Rage!”
“Gyarados!” Marble’s Gyarados roared, and shot vicious tornadoes at Chris’s Gyarados, not appearing the least bit fazed.
“Alright Gyarados.” said Chris. “Time for a Thrashing!”
“GYARA!” said Chris’s Gyarados, much more brutally. Chris’s Gyarados jumped onto Marble’s Gyarados, beating it to a pulp.
“Oh my God! Gyarados!” screamed Marble in concern.
“Ha, do you see that I’m gonna beat you?” asked Chris.
“Return Gyarados.” said Marble, taking out another Poke Ball. “Go, Gyarados #2!”
“Gyarados!” said Marble’s second Gyarados. This Gyarados was formerly “Meaky,” and had become a bit more powerful than Marble’s original Gyarados (though the original is still strong in its own right).
“Another Gyarados?” asked Chris. “This is gonna get boring. Return Gyarados.” and Chris recalled his steroid Gyarados. “Boy, are you in for a treat!” he said with a gleeful smile, as he threw a Poke Ball revealing into a new figure.

Domino Hurley
Type: Human/Ghost
Special Ability: “Put that Away.”


“Hahaha, welcome!” said Domino Hurley. It was a small, hooded, Grim Reaper Pokemon. You could see its face, and it was a skull bearing a gregarious smile.
“What is that!?” Marble asked, having not encountered Human-Type Pokemon before. “Anyway, I will beat it, Gyarados, use Thunderbolt!” Marble commanded.
“Gyarados!” said Gyarados, crackling up electricity before shooting it towards Domino.
“Use Put That Away!” Chris commanded.
Domino pulled out a gun, pointed it in the air and said “Put that away...” the pointed the gun at Gyarados. All of a sudden, the electricity went back into Gyarados, unharming it.
“WHAT?” asked Marble, stunned. “Gyarados, use Bite!” he ordered.
“Show him to his Office!” Chris ordered to Domino.
Gyarados was launching to Domino Hurley, but Domino abruptly dodged and landed on Gyarados’s snout. “Let me show YOU to your new office!” Domino said, and smashed Gyarados’s head in with a sledge hammer.
“Oh no! Gyarados!” shouted Marble, to see his Meaky tormented like it was. “Return!” Marble said, recalling Gyarados #2.
“Alright, what’s next?” Chris casually asked.
“Nngh..” Marble grunted and grabbed his Poke Ball. “Alright, you’re up. Go Bill!”
“Psyduck!” said Bill.
“Hahaha. This one will be fun!” said Chris, throwing his Poke Ball revealing another new figure.

Mr. Math
Type: Human/Normal
Special Ability: Calculator Smack


“Hi everybody!” said Mr. Math with a smile. It was a medium sized, nerd looking math geek. He wore a white button up shirt, had pens in his pockets and seemed to have calculators attached to his hands.
“Mr. Math, use Numbers!” Chris commanded.
“The square root of a googol plex to the socatoa to the ed-it-it-it...” Mr. Math started to ramble on and on with nobody listening.
“Psy.....” Bill said, and fell asleep.
“Bill! Wake up!” Marble shouted.
“Nah-ah.” Chris said. “Mr. Math, Calculator Smack!”
“Certainly!” said Mr. Math, and he jumped up in the sky and with a calculator in hand, smacked Bill’s head in. Bill lay on the floor fainted.
“Agh! How can this guy be so powerful!” said Marble.
“Alright, I got one Pokemon left.” said Chris. “Are you gonna make this last fight interesting?”
“Go Dragonair!” said Marble, throwing a Poke Ball.
“Dragonair!” said Dragonair, ready to battle.
“Then lets go, Gigolopuff!” Chris said, throwing a Poke Ball to reveal a Jigglypuff.
“Jigo-low, PUFF!” said the Jigglypuff. It was definitely male, was muscle bound, had a goatee and mustache, and was wearing blue flare sunglasses.
“Attack with Bind!” Chris said. Gigolopuff obeyed, apparently knowing the move, and launched hair from under his armpits, binding Dragonair with a nasty stench.
“Dragonair!” said Dragonair.
“Dragonair, we will not stand for this!” Marble said, pissed off at this guys dominance. “Use Fire Blast!” Marble commanded!
“Dragon!” said Dragonair, and it breathed flames from its snout and burned Gigolopuff's hair up, and its body.
“Jigo-low!” said Gigolopuff.
“Now use your own Wrap!” Marble commanded. Dragonair wrapped the body of Gigolopuff, overpowering it and causing it to faint.

BATTLE END!

Chris: Ah, looks like I win, with 3-1!

Marble: What are you? I’ve never seen such Pokemon before!

Chris: Your worst nightmare!

*Chris vanishes*

Marble: Huh? Where did he go?

Chris was at the Pokemon Center outside of Rock Tunnel’s North Entrance, he appeared to be waiting. A convertible pulled up and in it was Steve & Bob and Bob’s Meowth. “Hey Chris, how did it go with you?” asked Steve.
“I murdered a Kangashkhan!” said Chris. “Baby was scared to death!” Chris said Cruelly.
“Well, get in!” said Bob. “We’re gonna go to the Southern Islands!” said Bob.
“Yeah, we know of someone going.” said Meowth in his Brooklyn Gangster accent.
“Hah, sounds like real fun.” said Chris, hopping into the convertible. “Say, where did you pick this baby up from?” he asked, noting the car.

Chapter 53: Southern Ho

Jake entered Vermillion City from the north gate from Route 6. “Return Convertible.” he said, recalling his car into it’s Item Ball. He looked around the town to see if there were any houses he never visited, maybe there were secrets inside them. He walked up to the door of a house he was not familiar with and entered.

“Oooom, Fish, fish, fish, fish... Ooooom, Fish, fish, fish, fish.” said an old man who was meditating.
“Uh, hello.” Jake said.
“Ah, good day young Magikarp, it’s always good to have visitors. I am the Fishing Guru. I always have a gift to all trainers who visit me, but all my Good and Old Rods have already been given out. That was almost a year ago, in fact!” said the Fishing Guru. “Fortunately, I did find this Cruddy Old Rod in my underwear drawer the other day, you can have this.” and the Fishing Guru gave Jake a Cruddy Old Rod.
“Uh, thanks. I guess.” Jake said in response.
“Oooom, Fish, fish, fish, fish...” the Fishing Guru continued his meditating. Jake left the Fishing Guru’s house with his Cruddy Old Rod.

Jake entered the Pokemon Center to figure out his next big adventure. “Well it seems I’ve been everywhere in Kanto.” he said to himself, looking at a map of Kanto. He looked down the bottom of the map near New Island and noticed a set of islands south of it. “Hey, wait a minute...” he said, and he walked up to a computer.

www.southernislands.com

Jake typed into the Address Bar and looked at the Website. “Wow, I think I know where I’m going to now!” he said eagerly, and grabbed one of his Poke Balls. “Go Porygon!”
“Porygon, Porygon!” said Porygon.
“Alright Porygon, lets go, to the Southern Islands!” Jake said.
“Pory!” said Porygon, and it & Jake entered cyberspace and to the Southern Islands!

Jake entered into a Cabana Wi-Fi access point. “Heeey bey!” said the bartender. “Welcome to the Southern Islands bey!”
“Uh, hey! I’m from Kanto!” said Jake.
“Ah bey, bey you a Pokemon Trainer? You ga fight in da Southern Islands League?” asked the native bartender.
“Well, I’ve never did a Badge Quest, but I think I will!” Jake said.
“Yeah bei, you ga have a blast. Best train hard now!” said the Bartender. “Let me give you a map of da islands. Here you go.” the bartender gave Jake a map of the Southern Islands. “You in “Shaba Island” right here.” said the Bartender pointing to the island right in the middle of the curved archipelago. “There’s a total of four gyms here in da Southern Islands. Da closest gym is here, in “Star Island.” He a Water Type gym leader, so be prepared!” he finished pompously.
“Thanks a lot for the heads up good sir.” Jake responded.
“Your welcome maan, enjoy your time here in da Southern Islands!” the bartender said, as Jake left the cabana and into the towns of Shaba Island.

“Wow!” said Jake, as he noticed all the natives. “They are just like Drew!” Jake said as he noticed all the people wearing their hairs in dreadlocks and wearing wife-beaters and Flare Sunglasses. In the center of town stood a large Dome. This Dome was where combatants face the Southern Islands League. “I’ll make it there one day!” said Jake. “Wait a minute.” Jake suddenly realized. “How will I make it to each island? I don’t have enough money for ferries...” Jake looked around. “Where did I leave my car?” Jake asked himself as he went through his backpack, noticing his familiar Item Ball containing his car wasn’t in there. He had no money, and no transportation, while in the Southern Islands.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Chapter 52: History of the Human

Meanwhile, at the Mountains of Mystery

John, inside of an unlocked cage, was sitting listening to the Psycho. The Yahoe and the Psycho’s triplet friends were sitting by the fire making Smores. “Who or what are you?” John asked.
“John, I am a Pokemon, believe it or not. A “Human Type Pokemon”.” answered the Psycho.
“Human-Type Pokemon?” John responded. “That can’t be possible!”
“Most “Human-Human’s” don’t believe in us, because all of us were created only a short time ago.............



Our creator, Dr. Fuji, created us totally by accident. Just before he received the funding that led to our creation, he attempted to clone his lost daughter, Amber. Unfortunately, it was a failure, and Dr. Fuji was heartbroken, for he could not attempt again. However, unbeknownst to him, his daughter’s Human DNA remained in the systems. About a month later, he received funding from a Yakuza Boss, I unfortunately do not know his name. The Yakuza Boss wanted Dr. Fuji to clone a Pokemon eyelash some archaeologists found while exploring the Far South Continent. The procedures went underway, however, there was a glitch in the computer systems. A Virus named “MissingNo.” was downloaded from the internet, and it caused Amber’s Human DNA to mix up with the Pokemon DNA. Furthermore, it controlled the cloning machine and thus, Human-Type Pokemon were created.......

“About a hundred of us were created, by the time Dr. Fuji discovered what happened. He was horrified at what he created. All of us were able to speak and had figures of humans, but we had Pokemon Power!” said Psycho.
“This is amazing...” John said.
“Each of us has feelings too, so he couldn’t just kill us. Since only few of us were created, he just released all of us into the wild, hoping we could adapt and hopefully hide our Powers from “Human-Human’s.” Some of us have been captured, since we are Wild Pokemon and all. We actually would prefer to befriend “Human-Human’s.” That way we know we are protected.”
“Hmmmm.” John said.
"There is more to my story, Yahoe.......”



Each of us Human-Type Pokemon has a unique power and/or gimmick. For example, I am completely batshit crazy. I’ve been in so many mental institutions and broke out of just as many. I do not even care that they keep arresting me and throwing me back in the nut house because I would always break out. Also, I can transform into absolutely anything I want.
But then, I came to the Mountains of Mystery. That was where I met Yahoe. Yahoe is a mythical creature from the Island of Lubbers. The Island of Lubbers is a small cay off the coast of the Far Southern Continent. The both of us have roots in the Far Southern Continents, so we had that thing in common......


“I actually do not know if Yahoe is a Pokemon, and neither does it!” Psycho explained. “Human-Type Pokemon can’t use Poke Balls, and Yahoe does not want to appear in public because it’s the only one.”
“I see.” John said. “Yahoe explains that Green Glow I heard about, that was the reason I came here in the first place. I was expecting a treasure hunt, however. But all this is interesting. What else is this Pokemon World hiding?”
“John, you said you travel by Helicopter, right?” Psycho asked.
“Yeah, I taught my Mankey how to Call a Helicopter.” John answered.
“Interesting.” Psycho sat up and walked to the cliff, and looked to the sky. "Perhaps it is time we get back on the road, find our true meaning.” Psycho said. “You see, Yahoe and I would like to return to the Far Southern Continent one day. But neither of us can go unguarded. It’s way too far to walk, and neither of us can fly for as long as it would take to cross the Ocean.”
“I know, why not explore Kanto with me first, and wreck havoc. Then, I’ll take you to the Far Southern Continent.” John offered.
“Oooooh, so you like to wreck havoc too? With you around, I will be protected!” Psycho said. “I’ll tell you what. I will let you capture me, and when we get to the Far Southern Continent, you can release me.”
“You got it!” John said, and the Psycho and Yahoe exchanged glances.
“WE ARE GOING HOME!” Psycho said to Yahoe.
“YAHOE!” screamed Yahoe.

It was now morning, John had already called a Helicopter and bashed out the pilot.
“Yebba, Yabba, YA-HO, Hey-ey!” said the triplets, waving goodbye to Psycho, Yahoe and John.
“Okay guys, take good care of that hospital for me.” Psycho said, and he waved back to the triplets.
“Everybody ready?” John asked, sitting in the pilot seat ready to ignite the Helicopter engine.
“We are ready!” said Psycho.
“Yahoe!” said Yahoe, sitting on the Psycho’s shoulder like a parrot.
“Then we are off. First stop, Pewter City!” John said, as he lifted the Helicopter off the ground and down the mountain to Pewter City.

Chapter 51: The Masked Hypnotizer of Cinnabar Island

Matthew was infuriated. The ticket he received when he booked his flight to Fuchsia City from Cinnabar Island had misprinted and made the 1 in the 1:25PM Departure time look like 7:25PM. Brian had boarded the flight as he should’ve, leaving Matthew alone with no money to escape, and no Water Pokemon to take him across to Kanto Mainland. “Blast! I shouldn’t have traded my Gyarados.” Matthew said to himself. Suddenly, a group of people ran past Matthew, screaming as they go past.
“Aaaaah! He’s coming! Look out!” said the crowd.
“Hey you!” said a man pointing to Matthew. “Get off the streets! He’s coming!”
“Who?” asked Matthew.
“Oh no!” said the man, looking behind him, and running off.
“Uhh...” said Matthew to himself, as a tall shadowed figure in a mask walks up to him. In his right hand he held what looked like a blue, round musical instrument. He rose the musical instrument to his mask’s mouthpiece and played it.



When the song was finished, Matthew suddenly felt extremely sleepy, and against his own will, he fell asleep.

“Huh? Where am I?” Matthew asked himself as he came to. He noticed he was tied up, but not gagged in the mouth, and instead of a dungeon room, he was in a poshly type house with regal furniture. Suddenly, a door opened, and in walked some person.
“I’m here to untie you, and try whatever you can to avoid him.” said the person, as he walked up to Matthew and untied him.
“Who is he?” Matthew asked.
“He calls himself an assassin, but instead he hypnotizes people and kidnaps them.” the person said.
“He uses that musical instrument to hypnotize?” Matthew asked.
“Yeah, it’s called an Ocarina.” said the person. “Be careful of his spells.” he finished, but promptly vanished with the blink of an eye.
“... How come all the weird things happen to me?” Matthew asked himself. He saw a door in the room, and opened it. On the other side of the door was... the outdoors of Cinnabar Island. “I gotta find a travel agency...” he said looking around the streets. All of a sudden, Matthew heard the roaring sound of a Pokemon cry.
“LIZARDON!” said an overhead Charizard, with the Masked Ocarina Player riding it. “Lizar!” said the Charizard, who blasted fire all in the sky.
“Ugh!” said Matthew, pissed off to see him. The Masked Mystery Person put his Ocarina to his mouth.
“Oh no!” said the women, as they knew what he was going to do.



As if he were controlled like a puppet, Matthew started dancing around uncontrollably, hypnotized at the music. It just made him so happy he couldn’t help but dance. As the Masked Player flew off, the spell wore off.
“Ohhhhh!” said a frustrated Matthew, he just wanted to get out of Cinnabar Island and continue his journey. “I’m gonna stop you!” said Matthew, taking out a Poke Ball and throwing it.
“Farfetch’d!” said Matthew’s Bird Pokemon.
“Farfetch’d, use Fly to carry me up there, we are going to chase that Charizard!” Matthew commanded, and Farfetch’d started Flying and Matthew grabbed its legs and was carried.

Farfetch’d was able to catch up with the Charizard and the Masked Man. “I’m going to get you!” said the reckless Matthew.
“I don’t think so!” said Mr. Mask, and he played his Ocarina.



When he finished the short tune, Matthew and Farfetch’d instantly fell asleep, and was falling from the sky, until The Masked Person’s Charizard grabbed them.

Matthew came to, and found himself laying on a Pool Table. “Where the fuck am I?” he asked as he got up.
“Welcome to the Pokemon Mansion!” said the Masked Voice. “The purpose here is for me to fuck with you!”
“Are you the Yahoe?” Matthew asked. “Or the Psycho?”
“Yahoe? Psycho? What have you been smoking?” the voice said. “Nah dude, I’m somebody you probably know, but figuring out my identity is going to be half the fun!” and then suddenly.



The song played through the PA. Matthew instantly felt happy and started dancing. When the song ended, he stopped and had an angry look on his face. “STOP DOING THAT!” screamed an angry Matthew. He grabbed a Poke Ball and looked at it. “Let’s go Nidoking!” he said, tossing it.
“Nidoking!” said Nidoking.
“Break down the door Nidoking!” Matthew commanded, and Nidoking smashed down the door and the hall was on the other side. “Where are you!” Matthew shouted.
“Come and find me!” the voice said.
“You’re in the basement! Nidoking, Dig, now!” Matthew ordered, and Nidoking plowed through the floor and into the basement.
“Hey! That was cheating!” the voice said. “Better teach you a lesson!” Just then, five Magmar appeared.
“Ah fuck!” said Matthew. “Nidoking, try Earthquake!”
“Nido!” said Nidoking, and with brute strength, he smashed the ground, cracking the areas around the Magmars.
“Magmar!” said the Magmars, and in retaliation, they each blasted a Heavy Flamethrower attack to Nidoking.
“Grrr!” said Matthew, as Nidoking was heavily seared. “Why did I trade that Gyarados?” he said, regretting his recent decision, then suddenly, the Magmar’s were no longer there.
“Ah-hahhhaaahhhaaaa.” a laughter echoed, and from the shadows of the dark basement, came the Masked Mystery. “Are you having fun?” he asked sarcastically.
“Why are you doing this?” Matthew asked angrily, and then he tackled and grappled the Masked Man, pinning him to the ground and leering at him stringently.



Matthew interrupted the song and grabbed the Ocarina and smashed it. “Ah! What have you done!” the Masked Dude asked, in a tone like Julia Child, and then he poofed into smoke and vanished.
“Huh? Where did you go?” Matthew asked, and then a visible stairway was lit up, a neon Exit sign pointed it up. Matthew recalled his Nidoking and ran up the stairs quickly.
“Nyaaaaaah!” Matthew heard a neigh when he reached the ground floor. The front door was open and a Rapidash carrying the Masked Rider had just ran out.
“Get back here!” Matthew commanded, but the Masked Assailant ignored. “Ungh!” he angrily grunted, and chased. “Let’s go Venusaur!” Matthew said, tossing a Poke Ball.
“Venusaur!” said Venusaur.
“Vine Whip, Grabbed the man!” Matthew commanded, and Venusaur shot its vines and grabbed the Mysterious Person. Once again, Matthew pinned him to the ground and gave him a stringent leer.



Matthew once again grabbed the Ocarina and threw it onto the ground, smashing it. “Who are you?” he finally asked, grabbing the mask and ripping it off.

The Masked Ocarina player was none other than Blaine, the Gym Leader. “Kid, you’ve been taking this thing way too seriously. This is just a stupid game we play!” said Blaine.
“Yeah, it’s lame in this isolated island.” said a civilian. “This is just our way of having fun!”
“What?” Matthew asked.
“Rapidash, I hereby ban this kid from Cinnabar Island!” Blaine said, and Rapidash Jump Kicked Matthew and Venusaur into the sky.
“Yaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh!” Matthew said, as he flew off into parts unknown.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Chapter 50: When Pokemon go Bad

WARNING: The following chapter contains heavy usage of Pokemon violence. Read at your discretion. This is only satire, I do not actually condone Pokemon violence, and the following characters are based off a comic some friends made separetely.

To the west of Indigo Plateau, just before you cross into North Kanto Forest, there stood a cave. Not many trainers have discovered this cave due to its isolation, but indeed it was a gateway. Enter that cave, and you will follow a path to Hell.

In the Second Layer of Hell, there was a Stronghold powered by tortured, enslaved Pikachu’s. Each Pikachu was hooked up in an isolated cubicle, and was forced to generate power when needed. Should any Pikachu slack off, it was force-evolved into a Raichu. Inside the Stronghold, there lived a trio of Pokemon haters. Their leader, a hoodlum in a hoodie was Chris. Chris was a certified gym leader, and if you beat his Pokemon, you get awarded the Land of the Dead Badge, something you cannot be a Pokemon Master without. The second in command was Steve, Chris’s brother. Steve was suave and sophisticated, and always held up the police to make sure they do nothing to help. Finally, there’s Bob, a young guy who’s pretty trigger happy. He had a Meowth that could talk in a “Gangster Brooklyn” accent.
Chris, Steve & Bob and Meowth sat in a Red Sports Car Convertible, ready to take off into Kanto to kill wild Pokemon. “Everyone ready?” asked Chris in the drivers seat.
“We got crossbows and darts, nail guns, cattle prods, magnets, we got a full inventory!” said Meowth.
“Buckle in, and lets go!” said Steve.
“And we’re off!” said Chris, as he shifted into 1st gear, and quickly into 2nd, driving out of the Second Layer of Hell and into Kanto.

“Look, our first target!” said Bob, who spotted something in the woods. Chris pulled over and they all got out to investigate.
“Look, it’s a Mr. Mime!” said Meowth.
“Mime?” asked Mr. Mime. “Mister Miii-iiiime!” said the silly Mr. Mime.
“Haha, I know just what we’re going to do.” said Chris, who walked up to the Mr. Mime. Chris then started to mime-draw a box, and he then placed the invisible box over Mr. Mime.
“Mime!” said Mr. Mime, apparently claustrophobic. “Mr. Mime! Mr. Mime! Mr. Mime!” said Mr. Mime, gasping for air.
“Haha, poor thing’s suffering!” said Bob.
“Wait for it... Wait for it...” said Steve.
“Mr. Mime!” and Mr. Mime gripped its fist, punched its chest, and started to bleed.
“Oh! It stabbed itself with an invisible knife!” said Bob.
“Meowth, that’s right!” said Meowth.
“Right, moving on!” said Chris with no trace of emotion.
Chris, Steve & Bob and Meowth continued on it the woods. They eventually reached a stream with brambles around it. Against the brambles, there lay a sleeping Snorlax, pillowed by bushes leaves.
“Hah, piece of cake.” said Bob. “Meowth, get the Crossbow.” Bob commanded to Meowth.
“Yoooouuuuu got it!” said Meowth, who equipped himself with a Large, Heavy Crossbow, armed with ultra piercing bolts. “Fire!” said Meowth, who launched an ultra piercing bolt into the Snorlax’s heart.
“Snor!” said the Snorlax, awoken with the pain of the crossbow bolt piercing his heart, the Snorlax was in agony and its eyes were wide open.
“Fire two!” said Meowth, launching another ultra piercing bolt, this one to its neck.
“Snorlax!” said the Snorlax, and it fell over with a mighty *THUMP*, a pool of blood emerged from the fat, Snorlax carcass. Chris, Steve & Bob and Meowth walked away.

Two hours had passed and Chris, Steve & Bob had murdered about 20 Pokemon. “Oh hey, look!” said Chris, as he noticed something on the ground.
“Ditto!” said a friendly looking Ditto with a smile. Chris walked up to it, and *SPLAT!* as he stomped on the Ditto, mercilessly killing it.

Chris, Steve & Bob and Meowth walked back to their car and got into it. “Alright, Road Trip time.” said Chris. “We’re gonna go around Kanto and kill Pokemon belonging to Pokemon Trainers. First up, Lavender Town area!” Chris finished.
“Yeah!” said Steve.
“Yeah!” said Bob.
“Yeah!” said Meowth, as Chris shifted into first, and quickly into fourth and sped to Pewter Highway onto Kanto Expressway headed to Celadon City. Pink Floyd music blasted in their car, coexisting with the Pokemon anime.

Word of God note: I felt really bad killing that innocent Ditto. I hereby declare that it did survive.

Chapter 49: Seafoam Caverns and the Progress

“Alright Bill, use Confusion!” ordered Marble. “Psyyyyy” said Bill, using its powers to grip a wild Zubat, quickly fainting it. “Good job Bill, you’re on the road to evolution!” Marble encouraged. “Psyduck!” said Bill. Marble had found himself at Seafoam Islands, hell bent on reuniting his Dratini with its family. Already out to sea, he decided to explore the Seafoam Islands for any leads. The caves were slim and dim, but there were some big chambers. “Hnngh, where could it be?” Marble heard a voice close by. He peered in the corner and saw a Purple Haired man with glasses, to his side was a Hypno. “Hey, who are you?” said the man.

Rival Alex sent out Hypno!

Go, Gyarados!

Gyarados used Dragon Rage.

Hypno Fainted.

Marble defeated Rival Alex!

Alex: ... Oh shit.

“Please! Don’t hurt me.” said Alex. “I’m just an assassin paid to do someone in! I promise, its not you!” “Why should I believe you?” asked Marble. “I don’t know! Ohhhh...” said Alex, and then he suddenly teleported away, presumably with the help of his Hypno.
“Oh God, did he tell you?” said a voice coming from behind Marble. Marble turned around and saw a kid. “Don’t listen to Alex, he’s just trying to stop me.”
“Stop you? What is it you’re trying to do?” asked Marble.
“Eh, I’ll tell you what, want to help me do it?” he asked.
“Sure.” said Marble.
“Great, my name’s Jason.” said Jason.
“I’m Marble.” said Marble.
“Let’s go. Follow me.” said Jason.

Jason led Marble to the lower chambers of Seafoam Caves. It was much colder, and the corners of the caves hid Jynx’s and Dewgongs. “I collect Rare Pokemon.” said Jason. “Have you ever heard of Articuno?” he asked.
“No.” answered Marble. “My only aspiration is to become a Dragon Type Gym Leader.”
“Well, I’m planning on capturing Articuno.” Jason said.
“Why? It’s better to leave Legendary Pokemon alone.” Marble responded.
“I need them...” said Jason.
“And I refuse to let you have them!” said a familiar voice, it was Alex!
“It’s you!” said Marble.
“I’m not gonna let you win Alex.” Jason suspiciously said. “I have too much than you’ll ever have...” Jason wickedly said, as he grabbed a Poke Ball and tossed it. From the energy sent out of the Poke Ball, an Alakazam emerged.
“Ka-zaam!” said Alakazam.
“Go Arbok!” said Alex, releasing an Arbok.
“Cha-bok!” said Arbok.
“Ugh. Alakazam, use Psychic.” Jason commanded, and Arbok was quickly defeated.
“Whaaaaaaaaat?” said a shocked Alex. “Ohhh. You’re not gonna win!” and Alex jumped into a hole.
“Come, we gotta go down further.” said Jason to Marble, and Marble followed him.
“What is going on here?” Marble asked.
“Not telling.” Jason said dickheadedly. Marble was disgusted at how Jason had been treating him, since it was he who invited him.

Finally, Jason and Marble reached a chamber with a stairway. At the top of the tall stairway, shimmered a blue light, it was really cold in the room. “Alright, only I get to climb up.” Jason ordered to Marble. “If anything happens, cover me. Got that?” he said sternly.
“Got it, got it...” Marble said, pissed off.
“It will be worth your while.” Jason said, as he walked up the stairway, and looked back. “Prepare for anything, right now...” he said, as he carefully walked up the stairs.
“What’s up with this guy?” Marble said, as he took out a Poke Ball. “Go Dratini.”
“Dratini!” said Dratini, released from the Poke Ball.
“On my command, fire a Dragon Rage.” Marble said to Dratini.
“Dratini. Dratini.” said Dratini. Jason continued walking up the stairs. As he got higher, the air got cooler. He got halfway up, and the blue light dimmed.
“Coooooooo” said a noise from the top.

*CRASH*

“Hahahaha, I don’t think so Jason!” said Alex, smashing in through a cave wall, a Fearow carrying him in his talons. “Give up!” he said, throwing a Poke Ball.

*Shhhwoooooommmm!*

“Augh!” screamed Marble, being shot into a crevice by the bright Silver light that emerged from the Poke Ball. He crawled up and back to his Dratini, and tried to see what it was. A bright Silver ball was in the air, and it was launching to Jason. “Oh man, Dratini, try Dragon Rage!” Marble commanded.
“Dratini!” said Dratini, as it blew raging blue flames from its snout.
“Ha, you’re pitiful.” said Alex, as Dratini’s Dragon Rage did not even reach the Silver Ball. Suddenly, a Purple Sphere launched from Jason, and he managed to knock back the Silver Ball.
“Okay, go Gyarados!” said Marble, tossing one of his Poke Ball’s releasing his first Gyarados.
“Gyarados!” said Gyarados.
“Gyarados, Thunder!” Marble commanded, and Gyarados static’d up electricity, and caused massive damage to the mysterious Silver Ball.
“Oh no!” said Alex, as his mystery friend floated idly in the air.
All of a sudden: “Cuuuuunoooo!”

*Swooosh!*

Jason arrived riding Articuno, the Legendary Ice Bird Pokemon. “Time to finish you off!” said Jason. “Articuno, Ice Beam!” Jason commanded to the Articuno.
“Cuno!” said Articuno, and the Legendary Pokemon obeyed Jason, and blasted an Ice Cold Beam toward Alex.
“Oh, fuck!” said Alex, and the beam struck him, and froze him in a block of Ice.
“To the depths with you.” and Jason rose his hand, and the Alex Ice Block flew out of the chamber and off into the depths of the Ocean.
“Jason, what have you done?” said Marble. Jason did not respond, instead he looked deep into Marbles eyes.
“You can have what’s left.” Jason finally said, pointing to the top of the stairway. “Tell whoever you want, but know nothing any of you can do can stop my intentions. I have control you don’t.” he said very ominously. “I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I have good hearing.”
“Uhh...” said Marble.
“Marble, I trusted you, and that’s why I let you in on this adventure. But now I must go.” Jason finished, and flew away with Articuno.
“Oh wow...” said Marble. “I better let Jake and the others know about this...” he finished. Huh?
“Dratini, Dratini!” said Dratini, getting Marble’s attention.
“Huh? Dratini?” said Marble, as Dratini started to glow and grew longer, its head reshaped and it gained winds on its head.
“Dragonair!” said the newly evolved Dragonair.
“Alright!” said Marble.
“Dratini, you are now a Dragonair!” he said, excited to see this.
“Dragonair!” said Dragonair.
“I'm so happy you evolved. Truth be told, I think the both of us are going to have to get stronger if we're ever going to rescue your family..." said Marble.
"Dragon." said Dragonair.
"Climb onto my shoulders Dragonair, lets see if Jason left us anything." Marble said, as Dragonair slithered up his arms and onto his shoulders, Marble holding it. Marble started climbing the stairs. It was a pretty easy climb and the stairs were pretty wide. Interestingly, the air did not get cooler for Marble. Eventually he reached the top, and looked into what used to be a Giant Bird's Nest. Marble's eyes instantly caught the large Blue speckled Egg at the corner of the nest. "Oh, my, God!" said Marble, having made a great discovery.