Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sierra Story

Roger Wilco, Leisure Suit Larry, and Adam Greene were in Vohaul's Fortress. "Oh man! I can't handle this!" said Larry, and he took out a gun, and shot himself.
"Oh wow!" Larry shot himself!" said Roger. Roger picked up the corpse of Larry and wedged the body into his seemingly bottomless pocket. Roger looked at his inventory.

Roger's Inventory
25 Buckazoids.
Dust Pan & Whisk Broom
Corpse of Leisure Suit Larry
- Condom

"Okay, I'm ready." Roger said.
"How are we going to get out of here?" asked the 5-year old Adam.
"With Sierra Luck, I'm sure something will turn up." said an optimistic Roger.

*BZZZZ* *HUUUH*

All of a sudden, a time pod appeared. "Oh boy! Here's our big chance! Adam, do you have any weapons?" Roger asked the child.
"Let me look into my inventory." Adam said.

Adam's Inventory
Inner Tube
Sunscreen
Environmental Nutrition
A Spatula

"Hey, why do I have a spatula?" Adam asked himself, what did that have to do with saving the environment? "Oh well, I'll try it!" Adam said, equipping himself with the spatula. The time pod opened and out exited a Sequel Police.
"Halt Wilco!" said the Sequel Police.
"Yaaaaah!" screamed Adam, as he charged into the Sequel Police.
Unsure how to react to having a little child assault him, the Sequel Police was pushed off the edge of the fortress and fell down onto the ground.
"Good work Adam!" Roger said. "Lets get in!"

Rodger & Adam were inside the Time Pod. They were in the Time Period "Space Quest 12: Vohaul's Revenge II"
"We gotta get back to Space Quest 4." Roger said. "That's where I left the Aluminum Mallard."
"Okay." said Adam. And Roger powered up the time pod and sent him and adam back 8 sequels and into Space Quest 4: The Time Rippers.

"Yes! The Mallard is right where I left it!" Roger said with glee. "Lets get in, man I could use some Monolith Burger!"
"Awesome ship!" Adam said, for it was a childhood dream come true to see a Space Ship.
"Okay, set coordinates for Monolith Burger." Roger said at the Captains Seat, Adam said in the Passenger Seat.
"Ready!" Adam said, buckling his seat belt.
"Okay, prepare for Warp Speed!" Roger said.

*SCHWOOOOOM!*

*BZZT BZZT*

"Oh no!" Roger said looking at the control panel.
"Whats wrong?" Adam asked.
"We gotta land, looks like the engine is heating up!" Roger said. "Hey, look! Phleebhut!"
Roger landed the Aluminum Mallard onto the planet Phleebhut. "We gotta fix the engine!" Roger said, and he and Adam walked outside onto the purple sands of Phleebhut.

"Hmmm, maybe there's some tools in the trunk." Adam said, opening up the trunk and crawling in to look for tools.
*SLAM!*
The door to the trunk slammed Adam in and he had the key. "Oh no! Roger, help me!" said Adam.
"Oh no! Adam!" said Roger, for a child was now locked in his trunk. He had to get him out himself or the authorities would ask questions. "Adam! I'll help you get out!" Roger said. Roger looked into his Inventory.

Roger's Inventory
25 Buckazoids.
Dust Pan & Whisk Broom
Corpse of Leisure Suit Larry
- Condom

Roger took out the Corpse of Leisure Suit Larry and slammed the human corpse into the trunk door, hoping to open it. He slammed the body two more times and just crippled the door in. "Oh man! This is not working! I'm gonna have to go find help!" Roger said, running away from the trapped Adam, and tossing the Corpse of Leisure Suit Larry to the side......

Leisure Suit Larry came to following his suicide attempt. "Oh man, where am I?" he asked himself, looking up at the purple sky of Phleebhut. He was laying next to an abandoned Space Ship and believed he was kidnapped. "Oh no! I've gotta get out of here!" Larry said to himself, running away. Larry looked into his Inventory:

Larry's Inventory
Condom

"I hope I can buy stuff..." Larry said to himself. Larry walked the distance to the "World O Wonders" Tourist Shop at the Mog. Inside, he met with the proprietor Fester Blatz.
"Howdy pardner, welcome to the World O Wonders." Fester said to Larry.
"Uh, hi! I think I've been kidnapped." Larry said.
"Hey Larry!" called out a voice from outside, and Roger Wilco appeared at the door. "Take this!" Roger said, tossing the poisonous Scorpazoid to Larry.
"Oh no!" Larry said. Larry pulled out the rubber condom, and stretched it in front of his face, and it caught the Scorpazoid, and slung it back to Roger.
"Ahh!" said Roger, and he ducked the Scorpazoid. "Hey guess what! We're leaving without you!" Roger ran out the shop and into the Aluminum Mallard, with Adam out of the trunk and abandoning Leisure Suit Larry.
"No! No! You can't do this to me!" said Larry. "Fester, do you have any Astro Chicken Flight Hats?" Larry asked to Fester.
"Certainly do fella." Fester said, pulling out the souvenir hat.
"Good, I'll trade you one Condom for it!?" Larry offered.
"Eh, I'm not into that kind of business." Fester responded.
"Too late!" Larry said, grabbing the hat and leaving the condom. Larry ran outside and looked at the Astro Chicken Flight Hat:


"Okay, with this, I can Fly!" Larry said, putting the Hat on and acted like he took off, but Larry remained on the ground. "What? Why am I not flying? Isn't this the Astro Chicken Flight Hat?" Larry said. "Oh man, do I feel silly." Larry said to himself. Just then, Larry noticed something buried under the sand. "Oh my." Larry said, as he began to dig. It looked a lot like a piece of Unstable Ordinance, but when he used his Eye on it, it was described as an Organic Substance. "An Organic Substance?" Larry said, "I think I'll Eat it!"
Larry ate the Organic Substance, and his face melted.

The End

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Chinani

Jake was stumbling around in a town in the Southern Islands. "Maaaan, I hungry!" Jake said, rubbing his grumbling tummy. He walked into a restaurant named "Chinani."

"Welcome to Chinani Restaurant!" said a waitress, who was a teenage Nurse Joy. "Have a seat!" The Girl led Jake to a table, and Jake sat down. Jake looked at the menu.

Rice
Mini Corns
Takeshi Chicken

"I'll take Takeshi Chicken!" said Jake.
"With Soy Sauce or no Soy Sauce?" asked the Joy.
"Hmmm, both!" Jake responded.
"Okay! Soy Sauce, and no Soy Sauce!" she said, writing on her order pad.

After ten minutes, Jakes Takeshi Chicken order came in. On it, Jake saw a Mini Corn. He stuck it up his nose. The Nurse Joy looked at this and walked up. "Oh wow! You really like those, don't you? Here! Have some more!" The Nurse gave Jake a whole bowl of Mini Corns. Jake smiled, grabbed all the Mini Corns, shoved them into his mouth, and Spat them all out like a machine gun all over the restaurant.

*Pew*
*Pew*
*Pew*
*Pew*
*Pew*
*Pew*
*Pew*
*Pew*

"AUGH! Somebody stop him!" screamed the patrons of the restaurant.
"Okay Mister! Out you go! Out out OUT!" said the Nurse Joy, grabbing Jake by the shirt and throwing him out of Chinani Restaurant.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Chapter 71: Green Turtle

Warning: This Chapter contains mild Drug use. Read at your discretion.

“Thank you so much for the ride to the island, Drew!” said a grateful Jake to Drew, who had carried Jake to Blue Squirtle Island from Brewhop Island.
“No sweat dude.” responded Drew. “I’m certain I’ll see you later!”
“You got it! Take it easy!” said Jake.
“Ya maan!” Drew said in his local accent, and sped off away in his boat.

Jake was at the public dock of Blue Squirtle Island’s main town. It was kind of reminiscent of New Orleans, but nothing French about it. There was notably a memorial right in the center of town. “I wonder where on the island the gym is.” Jake said to himself. Jake whistled for public transportation, and a jitney came and Jake entered.
“Hey good suh! Where can I take you?” asked the local jitney driver.
“Hey Boss, I lookin fer da gym, you can take me there?” Jake asked in the local accent & dialect he’s been developing.
“Ah yeah! That’s far from here though, it ga be a 5-mile drive!”
“Alright, I can cover that.” Jake said. “Take me there maan!”
“Yes suh!” said the local, who drove Jake to the Blue Squirtle Island gym.

“Wow, this looks like just another resort...” Jake said, upon seeing what’s apparently the gym of Blue Squirtle Island. Jake entered the gate and looked around. There were swimming pools and bars.
“Bey! If you lookin fer da gym, it up the tower!” said a local bartender.
“Uh, were you expecting me?” Jake asked.
“Yeah.” answered the bartender. “I wanna warn you ‘bout our gym leada. He a Flying Pokemon gym leader, watch out fer his high-leveled Fearow!”
“Okay, thanks!” Jake said, and he walked up to the tower, and climbed it.

Jake was at the top of the five story tower. He smelled a peculiar scent, and followed it. “Hah! Jake! You made it!” said the voice, as Jake turned a corner. Sitting by an opening was Drew. He had been smoking a cigarette of some sort.
“Hey Drew! What are you doing here?” Jake asked.
Hah! Dude, I’m the Gym Leader!” Drew said. “I hope you’re ready for our battle!”
“Wait, you’re the Gym Leader?” Jake said, surprised apparently.
“Sure am!” Drew said.
“Well that’s just awesome!” Jake said.
“You bet! Want a taste?” Drew asked, offering Jake the cigarette.
“Ah, no thanks.” Jake responded.
“Glad you said that.” Drew said, putting the cigarette out and into a box. “Never let anyone push you into doing something you don’t feel is right.” Drew began to lecture. “When you grow up, you’ll be allowed to do things you didn’t do as a child, but know what’s really good and what’s really bad. Okay?”
“You got it!” Jake said.
“Alright! So why don’t we start our battle?” Drew asked, all pumped up!
“YEAH!” Jake said, excited.

Jake

Vs

Drew

“In my Gym, I use Flying-Type Pokemon.” Drew started. “But the catch is there is no ground! You can only use Pokemon that can Fly!”
“Hah! That’s actually no problem for me.” Jake said with a smile, holding a Poke Ball. “Gooooo Beedrill!” he said, tossing the Poke Ball containing his first Pokemon.
“Bzzzzz!” said Beedrill, loosening up and ready to battle.
“Then lets go, Butterfree!” said Drew.
“BeeeEEEeeeEEEeee-freeeeee!” said Drew’s Butterfree.
“Butterfree, use Confusion!” Drew ordered.
“BeeeEEEeee!” said Butterfree, emitting a Confusion attack, damaging Beedrill.
“Beedrill! Rage and then Slash!” Jake commanded. Beedrill used Rage, its Attack Power rose, and it did use Slash successfully.
“Oh man! My Butterfree!” Drew said with concern. Butterfree had been knocked out.
“One K-O Mudda Fucka!” Jake said in triumph.
“Oh man! Your Beedrill juk my Butterfree in the membrane, but I know who ga juk you back!” Drew said, in the native Southern Island dialect. “Go, FEAROW!”
“FEAR-ROW!!!!” roared a very large Fearow.
“Oh man!” Jake said. “Beedrill, Harden!” he commanded.
“Bzzz.” said Beedrill, and its body Hardened.
“Juk em Fearow! Drill Peck!” Drew commanded.
“Fearow!” said Fearow, and it twisted its beak as a drill, and stabbed Beedrill in its membrane.
“BZZ-ZZ!” gasped Beedrill.
“Beedrill! No!” Jake screamed, as Beedrill fell and crashed to the ground.
“Haha! Payback!” Drew said.
“If you think the only thing I have is Bug-Types, you’re wrong!” said Jake with a smile. “Porygon, I choose you!” he said, throwing a Poke Ball.
“Poooorrr-ygon!” Porygon said with its cry. Porygon was hovering in the sky, and able to battle.
“I should have seen this coming.” Drew said. “Fearow, use Agility!” he commanded.
“FEAR!” said Fearow, and it rapidly flew around.
“Porygon, Ice Beam!” Jake commanded. Porygon’s nose shone blue, and it blasted an ice cold ray at Fearow, who dodged with its boosted Speed. “Oh man! That’s a fast and powerful Fearow!” said Jake. “Porygon, Reflect!” Jake commanded with a second turn.
“Fearow! Use Agility again!” Drew commanded, giving Jake a free turn.
“Fearow!” said Fearow, using Agility again.
“Porygon, we gotta think of something...” said Jake.
“Porygon. Porygon.” Porygon said.
“Try Psybeam!” Jake commanded.
“Poooorrrr!” said Porygon, its nose glowing white, and blasting a psychedelic ray from it, missing Fearow.
“Damn it!” said Jake. “Porygon is too slow for this Fearow... If I could use Pikablu, I’d be able to defeat it with Electricity, but you can only Fly in this Gym. And I don’t know if Scyther will obey me...” Jake finished.
“Fearow! Drill Peck!” Drew commanded.
“Porygon!” Jake said with concern.
“Fearow!” said Fearow, drilling straight into Porygon.
“No!” Jake said.
“Pooooorrrrrrr.” said Porygon’s cry, and its body turned white, fainting.
“Porygon, return!” Jake said, recalling Porygon. “I guess I have no choice.” Jake said taking a Poke Ball. “Scyther, I believe in you!” he said, tossing the Ball.
“Sycther!” said Scyther with spunk. Scyther was fluttering in the air and actually seemed calm and not angry for once.
“Scyther!? You’re looking like you’ve changed!” said Jake.
“Scyther!” said Scyther, it was indeed ready to battle.
“Alright! Scyther, Slash!” Jake commanded.
“ScyyyyyTHER!” said Scyther, who flew quickly up to Fearow and Slashed it very hard in the neck, performing a Critical Hit.
“Fearow!” said Drew, Fearow had been knocked out and was crashing to the ground. “Oh man! You beat me!” Drew said.



The battle was over, and Jake and Drew were on the grounds of the resort Drew worked at. “Congratulations Jake.” Drew said. “As proof of your Victory here at Blue Squirtle Island Gym, I present to you, the High Badge.”
“The High Badge?” Jake asked, intrigued. The badge was just a sky and clouds with birds in the background. “Well, thanks Drew! It was good battling you!”
“There are two gyms left.” Drew started. “The closest one is on Indian Island, but I recommend going to the gym on Crown Island first.”
“Crown Island?” Jake said. “According to my map, thats at the end of the archipelago.” he said, looking at his map.
“Either way, you’ll have to go to Treasure Island from here, south of us. Treasure Island is another resort Island, but has a famous Citrus farm. From there you take a ferry to Coopers Island, then Crown Island." Drew responded.
"Wow, it'll be a longer journey." Jake said.
"Yeah, and those islands are a little more isolated." Drew said.
"Well Drew, thanks! I appreciate everything you have done for us." Jake said with appreciation.
"Don't mention it dude! Hope you win the Southern Islands League!" Drew responded with an encouraging smile.
"Thanks Drew, I hope I see you again sometime!" Jake said, waving as he walked away down the path.

*Note: Yeah, had to remind you this is taking place during the anime :D*